The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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