please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
