New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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