go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I showed him my bush... on skype.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
