This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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