I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
