I could make wine with my vomit
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
