My room smells like vodka and shame
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
