Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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