She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
