Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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