you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
