The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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