Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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