I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
