Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize