I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
