so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
