I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
