I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
