Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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