She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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