last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
