I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
