Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
high people should be assigned attendants
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
