What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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