I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
