she smelled like a LAN party
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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