bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
