Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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