Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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