I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
