Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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