Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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