Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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