the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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