he wants to bone in the snuggie
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize