Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
