First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
