I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
