I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
