I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
