Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
