My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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