Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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