yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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