Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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