if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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