I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize