Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
