Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
