remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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