what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
