it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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