Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
