About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
