Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
