he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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