i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
