EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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