What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
