My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
