We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
