If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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