He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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