i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
